The smile he smiles
by Katidid
Summary: The smile he smiles is gone; she'll never see it again.


**Okay, so my muses were going in four different directions, and this was one of those directions. I would like to thank my friend Adelaide, who without her poking and prodding this fic would not have happened. : ) I love you Buddy! So, this is for Adelaide. **

**Disclaimer: Don't own a thing. (thank goodness!)**

I smile, turning towards the front door as I hear it open. Seth had heard the gravel crunching under the tires outside. The phone rings somewhere in the house and I can just make out Seth saying that he would get it.

The front door opens and I smile even wider, I wanted Charlie to feel his grandchildren. They had started to kick again, and I knew he would love it. He steps through the door.

"Dad!"

He turns his eyes towards me, his eyes vacant of the usual light.I stop a couple of feet away from him, the smile disappearing from my face, "Dad, what's wrong?" Charlie remains silent, searching for words.

"Dad…..Jake, is Jake okay?" Even if don't love him, he still means the world to me. He would only look that way for two people, and I know it isn't Billy; I had just talked to him on the phone half an hour ago.

Charlie's eyes move up to look into mine, and Seth walks into the room. Seth and Charlie lock eyes over my shoulder. "No," Jake can't be hurt; he's my invincible werewolf man.

"He was ambushed,"

"No!" I stumble backwards, tears running down my face, running into Seth. "They didn't get to him in time,"

I scream, turning around to look at Seth, "No, not Jake, you're lying, please,"

Seth's arms wrap around me, "He's not lying, my sweet, Sam just called."

I let out a scream of anguish, my legs giving out under me. "No, no, no, no, not Jake, please, no, no, not Jake, he's okay, I know he is,"

"Bella, shh, baby, calm down, you have to calm down,"

I try, I really do, I don't want to hurt my children, but Jake. "You're lying! Jake…He can't…he, not Jake!"

Seth lowers us to the floor, rocking me back and forth. "Calm down Bella, please,"

I shake my head, "No, he's pulling another of his tricks, this is just a joke. It isn't funny, please, stop now."

Seth looks over my shoulder towards Charlie before he looks back down at me, "I know sweet, I'm sorry, but this isn't a joke. Jake wouldn't joke about something like this, please. Calm down."

I try to push him away, but I'm weak and Seth is strong. "Don't, go away! You're lying! Jake wouldn't leave me like that! He knows… he knows that….." I look up to Seth, "I love him Seth, he can't be gone,"

His eyes soften even more, and he pulls me closer, kissing the top of my head. "I know you do baby, and he loved you too, you know he did, but please, try and calm down."

I sob into his chest, "Please, please bring him back."

Seth rocks me back and forth, trying to calm me.

"Charlie, will you go to Billy's house, tell them I have to take care of Bella,"

I know Charlie must nod, because I can hear the front door open and slam shut.

Seth picks me up, cradling me to his chest. "Just relax babe, I've got you,"

I grab onto his chest, needing to feel him.

He walks up the stairs, brining me to our bedroom. He sets me down in it, pulling my back to his chest and wrapping his arms around me. "Just rest and relax baby, please,"

I close my eyes, and I can see his face. His perfect, beautiful face. I remember sitting down at first beach with him, and our shy flirting. I remember him trying to put my life back together after Edward left. I remember him giving me a reason to keep going after Edward left and never came back. I remember his face when Seth came up to be one day about a month after he first changed, telling me that he had imprinted on me, and that he was sorry, but he thought that I should know. I remember his face as I walked down the aisle. I remember his best man toast during the wedding reception, telling Seth that if he ever, ever hurt me or did anything wrong, he would be there. He would be there, and he wouldn't be able to do anything for a week without hurting. I remember him saying that he expected to be the godfather of all the children we had, and that he would always be Uncle Jake. I remember him saying that he would always be there for us, for me.

He can't be gone. Jake was always been there when I needed him, even when I thought I didn't need him. He was my first solid rock. He didn't judge me, he let me be me. And even though he was younger than me, he was always taking care of me, always watching out for me. He always knew what I needed, when I needed it, no matter what I said on the subject.

He can't be gone.

A broken sob rakes my body, and Seth's arms tighten around me. "Shh, Bells,"

I try to stop the tears, but they won't be stopped. They want to grieve for their dead best friend, they want to say good bye one last time, tell him that they love him one last time, that they expect him for dinner on Saturday, that he has to be careful. But they won't get the chance.

I turn and twist in Seth's arms, burying my face in his chest, as another sob rakes my body. Seth's arms tighten around me, pulling me close, molding my body to his, trying to take my pain away, but it won't work.

I need to see him.

It dawns on me, I need to see him.

I pull away from Seth, my voice hoarse from my sobs and screams, "Take me to him, please, let me see him,"

Seth's head shakes, "No, Bells, he wouldn't want you to see that, see him."

I shake my head too, because I _need_ to see him, I need to say my final good bye to him, make sure this is all real. "Please, Seth, just let me….say good bye."

He pulls me close, his hand resting on the back of my neck, "You can say good bye at the funeral, Bella. He wouldn't want you to see…him; _I_ don't want you to see him, not like this."

Tears start to fall down my face again, but this time I don't try to stop them, letting the world know my grieve. A sob rakes my body.

"What happened?"

I need to know what happened, what went wrong, what's going to happen.

Seth sighs above me, his arms tightening and loosening around me. "He was ambushed, Bella."

I bury my face in his chest, "No, what went wrong, what happened?"

Seth is silent, and I know that he isn't going to tell me, isn't going to let me picture it.

"You need to take care of yourself, of the twins; I need you to rest." His voice is soft, comforting, but I know that my battle is lost, that Seth won't let me go.

And it hurts.

I push him away, climbing out of bed. Seth grabs my hand as I walk by, "Bella, I need you to sit here, just be with me."

Guilt washes over me even as more tears fall down my face. I'm not the only one hurting, the only one who lost a friend.

I sit next to him, taking the larger man, my friend, my husband, into my arms. I cry into his neck as he cries into mine.

1 week later

The tears fall as I drop the flowers onto the coffin, because this means he's truly gone. That my best friend isn't going to be sitting on my couch when I get home, a smile on his face and his arms wide open waiting for me. He won't be home every Saturday for supper; he won't be able to play with my little girl as she grows up. He won't be able to help teach my son how to play sports; he won't be able to light up the room with his smile, because he's gone.

I stand by the coffin, with the rest of our family and friends as the last flower is dropped.

This truly is the end, there's no going back. There isn't a chance that he'll pop up at some random place with a smile and a "Surprise!" He's truly gone, and not coming back.

Fresh tears to fall down my face, and I turn to Seth. I bury myself in his arms, crying into his suit because I'd still been hoping that this was all a joke, all a mix up, and now, I know that it isn't.

There's no turning back from death.

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